Apologies and other such assorted things

I, Corinne of Yasreadyas, solemnly apologize for the utter lack of reviews. Yeah. School has taken up a lot of my time. But, in my free time, I shall make a list of books that I'm in the middle of that have, so far, been awesome.
(Pictures will be added later)

You Look Different in Real Life by Jennifer Castle

Broken China by Lori Aurelia Williams

In the Shadow of Blackbirds by Cat Winters

Blood Calling by Joshua Grover-David Patterson



I will finish at least one soon, and I promise I'll do a review as soon as I'm done.

Things that make me avoid books

They say not to judge a book by its cover. I kind of do. These are the things that keep me away from 90% of bad YAs. (To be added onto later.)



I will not read your story if the main character’s name is just a mutilated version of a real name. (Abygale, Jazmin) I don’t want to earn a migraine from trying to make sense of the names.

I will not read your story if the main character’s name is blatantly connected to the plot. (Fallon A. Engel in a story about fallen angels, who’d a thunk it?)

If within the first sentence of describing Mr. Love Interest, the word ‘chiseled’ is used more than once, I will not read your story. I will lose hope at the first instance.

If you want to write a story involving paranormal creatures, that’s just ducky, but you are not allowed to ‘forget’ major characteristics of the race you are writing about. Vampires don’t live on hugs and kisses, guys.

Relating to that, if your story is based on an actual mythology, you must get your facts straight. And no saying ‘but what ACTUALLY happened was...’ No.

I will not read your story if I cannot pronounce any major character or place’s name.

If the first sentence of the summary is praise for the book and not by a person other than the author, I will not read your story.

If the title contains any of the following, I will not read it:

His [adjective] Heart
The name of any precious gemstone and then the following: Boy, Girl, Heart, Mind, Soul
Any color and then ‘Soul’ is also not permitted
Crimson
Immortal
Oxymorons of any type
Puns
Parts of an adage are allowed, but don’t use the whole thing, please
Teen
Eternal

I will not read your story if it at any point vehemently denies any belief system.

I will not read your story if the cover includes a shirtless person of any gender, even if they are wearing a bra. And I am entirely aware City of Bones has that exact thing. There are rare exceptions.

If most of the descriptors are referencing to celebrities or TV shows, I will not read your story. I don’t know who these people are and if I wanted to learn I wouldn’t be reading this book.

I will not read your story if your alien species has a monarchy and that is never explained.

I will not read your story if the title is in a language I do not speak. Not because I assume it’ll be a bad story, but because I will think the entire thing is in that language and figure I can’t read it.

If you describe your character as ‘independent and strong’ but she needs her boyfriend/family/friends to do anything, I will not read your story.

How badly is the cover photoshopped? Are there dead pixels? Do different parts of the cover have different lightings? If so, congrats, I’m not reading your story.

If you write out accents, I will not read your story. (“Ah ain’t got no funkah ack-sent,” he said southernly.)

If the love interest is described with any more than one of the following words, I will not read your story:

Dark
Mysterious
Intriguing
Dangerous
Jaded

I will not read your story if more than two normal words are capitalized to make them sound more “magical”. (“But... her Essence!” She cried, fighting the burning tears rapidly filling her eyes, “What will happen when the Shimmer comes and brings the Twilight?”)

I will not read your story if instead of saying “Book __” like a respectable person, you say “Episode __”.

I will not read your story if there is punctuation in the title.

I! Will! Not! Read! Your! Story! If! There! Is! More! Than! One! Exclamation! Point! Per! Paragraph!

Asylum

Asylum

Madeline Roux

(Picture from r-moran.blogspot.com)

Daniel is a gifted student. Not in a paranormal sense, but a legitimately-smart way. He decides to go to New Hampshire College Prep, a five-week course for those wanting to enrich their educations. But NHCP harbors a dark secret, one that can only be found by going headlong into it.

I read this book in a day. This is saying something, because I'm usually a fairly slow reader and this wasn't exactly a magazine.

So, I'm sure you can assume from that that this was a good book. The main character, was fairly well developed and the plot was intricate and interesting. 

I like ghosts, so I'm going to have to say that this review might be a bit subjective. But otherwise I probably wouldn't have read the book, so that's how it goes with most of what I review. Sorry. 

You pretty much can't mess up ghosts for me. Actually, you can, but let's not delve into that since these ghosts were awesome and I don't want to get side-tracked. Yeah. Freaky messages, unexplainable notes and untrackable texts? Count me in. And I am so, so glad of this, Ms. Roux didn't go overboard with it. I know, ghost story, gotta be creepy, but when you put in too much writing on the walls? Nada. It's annoying, not suspenseful.

The characters I didn't like quite as much. The only one that really clicked with me was Dan, the narrator (which is kind of a shock because I usually hate the MC). Abby didn't seem to develop all that much, and Jordan finally confirmed the most bizarre trope I have ever seen in YA: The Camp Gay Sidekick Who Comes Out Really Early On Even Though it Doesn't Make Sense and Disappears Conveniently for the Romance to Take Hold. I'm not kidding. I have seen that way too many times. It doesn't even make sense. He comes out in the first minute he knows Dan. That's just wrong. And then he disappears when it gets lovey dovey. That's just odd.

Eh, enough about that, let's talk about the plot. As I said, it was intricate and well developed. I can't go too far describing it simply because I don't know how. It was good, okay? There. That's all I can say, that's all I care to say. I don't want to be too spoilerful. Spoilerriffic. Spoiled. Uh. Something. I don't know.

Okay, so, awesome. Let's get to the one thing that really, really bugged me, because something always does.

This book was extremely predictable.

I don't know if it's just me being a jaded little book emo or what, but I found it really predictable. I knew who the love interest would be as soon as we saw them (hint: it's not Jordan), I knew the antagonist and the antagonist incarnate.

I kind of blame Far, Far Away for the figuring out the physical antagonist, though. Yeah. I think otherwise that would have been a shock moment.

Overall: Good book, short review, kind of predictable, weird tropes with gays.

~Corinne

The Unbearable Book Club for Unsinkable Girls

The Unbearable Book Club for Unsinkable Girls

(From julieschmaucer.com)

Julie Schmaucer

Adrienne Haus liked reading, she really did, just not with other people. And most certainly not when she's signed up for a mother-daughter book club. She has three other literary prisoners to keep her company- Jill, who was pressured into it because she 'needed to socialize', CeeCee, who bashed up her parents car and had her trip to Paris canceled, and Wallis who, for reasons unknown, actually wanted to come.
Of course, it couldn't be a regular book club where you eat fancy crackers and discuss classics. Book clubs can kill.
... Uhhh... Well, I've got to say, I can't explain it that well. I assure you it was a good book. I shall now review it.
I'm going to start in the exact way I do not enjoy starting- I LOVED this book. Correction, I loved the book after I was done. Not in a 'thank Moosamoset it's over' way, but because it took a while to really get into the book. And then it basically strapped you in, and in a gruff voice said, "You know you ain't comin' out again, right?" You, fortunately, have no control as to whether or not the car starts, since it was a rhetorical question. Then you laugh and scream and cry like a maniac.
And that's when the ride starts.
First turn, laugh. This book was awesome. It didn't try to force humor where it wasn't welcome and it didn't go bland. Though there were a couple moments which I think might have possibly probably were supposed to be jokes that didn't quite make sense.
Second turn, and you scream. I'm sorry, but somewhere in this review I have to mention the books weak points. None of them are actually scream-worthy, luckily. Just a couple of pet peeves  of mine that I must now whine on.
Okay, so I already mentioned that it was slow to get into. Yeah. Okay. Won't go farther on that. And you know how great I am at complaining about MCs, but there was only one little thing that irritated me about her, and I'm sure we've all seen this problem before: If she's such a bookworm, why does she only read classics? I get it, they're easily recognizable and their copyrights have probably expired, but still. Can one YA MC read, well, YAs? What kind can't you type up a bad summary of a random idea in the back of your mind and call it a book? You don't even need a title.
And then, per every book that wants to send a message, there is the drinking scene. I shall summarize all of such scenes, this book's included. Girl does not EVER NEVER drink. Girl is offered alcohol. Girl takes alcohol. Girl complains about alcohol, either in dialogue or in thought. Girl commences to drink a whole lot. Drunk scene. Faints. Hangover/consequence scene.
Thank you, thank you. I understand this time the scene was actually kind of important to Adrienne's development (shy, unassuming girl becomes rebellious that's just as unique as everyone else), but there could have been a better substitute. Come on, something. If anyone has any idea on a substitute for this scene, please inform me. It's getting boring.
Third turn, now we go up a hill, cry. You bounce along in your seat, both dreading and getting anxious for the inevitable drop you will face, along with the twists and loops of the following track. This is edging towards the climax, so the emotions are tight.
Very tight.
Very, very tight.
Tight as emo jeans.
I appreciate the change in tone from 'summer read' to 'book I will remember and author I will look up to'. This is when I actually grow attached to the characters, when I finally get a favorite. The emotions are right and are shown instead of told. *applause*
You've reached the peak of the hill, and the moment takes centuries of looking down the hill to drop. Then, in the blink of an eye, the climax is over and you're rushing towards the epilogue.
The ending.
The ending the ending the ending.
I LOVED the ending. Eeeeeeee! Plot twist! Twist twist! DON'T CARE.
Not like I get anything such as, say, a few, a lot of my questions answered, but that's part of the ride. You have to answer some of your questions yourself. It's practically inviting fanfiction and giving it a mint as it comes through the door.
Highly recommend it.

I am so, so sorry

I've been too busy (not too busy for reading, but too busy to read books I feel comfortable reviewing) for any real posting, so I shall cry.

Bawwwwwwwwwwwww.

Well, now that that's over, since I still have not found a book worthy of reviewing (in other words that I could finish without falling asleep during) that was still in my league (in other words not so popular that people might get angry with a review they didn't agree with) I shall give you a list of helpful resources for writing. Because I can.

This lovely blog about nearly everything

This amazing Deviant's guides

This site.

The catalogue of human features (note: it's intended for drawing, but baw, I use it)

This blog for fantasy writers may have stolen my theme, but it's amazing nonetheless

Another blog, this one more general

This Figment group, for when you finally want to get published

Now I'll attempt to either a) get something written, b) learn to stop shipping my own characters (haha I wish), or c) get some actual reviewing done.

Bye bye.

It's Raining Cupcakes

It's Raining Cupcakes

Lisa Schroeder

(Image from her website)

Small town girl Isabel is dying to get out of Willow, Oregon. When her mom opens a cupcake shop called It's Raining Cupcakes, she is inspired to enter a baking contest. The grand prize? A trip to New York for finals and a thousand dollars if you win. The only problem is that Isabel's best friend, Sophie, has entered the contest too, and both of them are determined to win.

Reeeeeeview time!

 So, I'll start out with stating the targeted age. It's for about nine to thirteen year olds. And that isn't in Diamond Willow's way that you can think of the main character as another age and have it seem like it's for you, too. It is very apparent who it is for. 

That doesn't mean I didn't enjoy it, though. It just wasn't 'classic' material. It was still funny and interesting, just not 'deep' or 'educational'.

We start out learning that Isabel's mom wants to open a cupcake shop in the old Bleach-o-Rama, having found a recent love for the art of cupcakes. This was, of course, not rushed at all. And, less sarcastically, not really well planned. Does she always rush headlong into things that are so big? We may never know.

Blablabla, we meet Sophie, a kind of two-dimensional perfect-girl character. She does whatever want and gets whatever she wants. And she introduces Isabel to the baking contest, which Isabel both does and doesn't want to join, since Sophie is joining and Sophie gets everything. Which is now a legitimate reason to give up, which seems kind of odd, since a major subplot is keeping Isabel's mom from giving up when she hears a chain bakery is coming to town.

Isabel's mom encourages Isabel to submit a cupcake recipe, but Isabel thinks that would be too unoriginal. She tries anyways, but doesn't like any of the end results. However, when a new neighbor comes back from England with jam tarts, she's inspired to submit a jam tart recipe without her mother knowing.

 Realizing it may hurt her mother's feelings if she didn't submit a cupcake recipe, though, she throws away the tarts. 

Stuff happens, Sophie steals Isabel's chance for fame in an interview with the family, Isabel laments for a bit, we learn something about the magic of friendship, spoiler, book ends.

Now let's be a bit more straight forward about how I felt.

This book was, no sugar-coating it, okay. Most of the characters were relatively two-dimensional and it wasn't a particularly emotion-inducing book. This may just be because it's for a younger demographic, but it was still somewhat disappointing.

It did, however, keep my interest throughout the story. While it didn't force me to turn the page, I did want to know what happened next and what would happen to our heroine next. 

I'll have to applaud the fact, also, that it wasn't in-your-face about the fact is was a tween book. Instead of some books *dramatic glare into the mist of horrible writing*, it did not act like the very life of all people under twenty was to mall crawl and text. The voice was believable and relatable, and I didn't want to punch the author in the face. Trust me, this is a big step up from how I usually feel about tween books.

The style was kind of beige (but at least it wasn't purple, right?), but it was still a good read for a rainy day. Eh, three stars, maybe add a half star for the ending (and the recipes, but shhhhhh). 

Also, in other related news, the author has another book called Sprinkles and Secrets, which is a sequel.

Just to keep you occupied

Sorry, I'm in the very middle of multiple books and it might be a while before my next review. So here's a picture of my kitten, Harley, with my copy of Wintergirls.