Asylum

Asylum

Madeline Roux

(Picture from r-moran.blogspot.com)

Daniel is a gifted student. Not in a paranormal sense, but a legitimately-smart way. He decides to go to New Hampshire College Prep, a five-week course for those wanting to enrich their educations. But NHCP harbors a dark secret, one that can only be found by going headlong into it.

I read this book in a day. This is saying something, because I'm usually a fairly slow reader and this wasn't exactly a magazine.

So, I'm sure you can assume from that that this was a good book. The main character, was fairly well developed and the plot was intricate and interesting. 

I like ghosts, so I'm going to have to say that this review might be a bit subjective. But otherwise I probably wouldn't have read the book, so that's how it goes with most of what I review. Sorry. 

You pretty much can't mess up ghosts for me. Actually, you can, but let's not delve into that since these ghosts were awesome and I don't want to get side-tracked. Yeah. Freaky messages, unexplainable notes and untrackable texts? Count me in. And I am so, so glad of this, Ms. Roux didn't go overboard with it. I know, ghost story, gotta be creepy, but when you put in too much writing on the walls? Nada. It's annoying, not suspenseful.

The characters I didn't like quite as much. The only one that really clicked with me was Dan, the narrator (which is kind of a shock because I usually hate the MC). Abby didn't seem to develop all that much, and Jordan finally confirmed the most bizarre trope I have ever seen in YA: The Camp Gay Sidekick Who Comes Out Really Early On Even Though it Doesn't Make Sense and Disappears Conveniently for the Romance to Take Hold. I'm not kidding. I have seen that way too many times. It doesn't even make sense. He comes out in the first minute he knows Dan. That's just wrong. And then he disappears when it gets lovey dovey. That's just odd.

Eh, enough about that, let's talk about the plot. As I said, it was intricate and well developed. I can't go too far describing it simply because I don't know how. It was good, okay? There. That's all I can say, that's all I care to say. I don't want to be too spoilerful. Spoilerriffic. Spoiled. Uh. Something. I don't know.

Okay, so, awesome. Let's get to the one thing that really, really bugged me, because something always does.

This book was extremely predictable.

I don't know if it's just me being a jaded little book emo or what, but I found it really predictable. I knew who the love interest would be as soon as we saw them (hint: it's not Jordan), I knew the antagonist and the antagonist incarnate.

I kind of blame Far, Far Away for the figuring out the physical antagonist, though. Yeah. I think otherwise that would have been a shock moment.

Overall: Good book, short review, kind of predictable, weird tropes with gays.

~Corinne

The Unbearable Book Club for Unsinkable Girls

The Unbearable Book Club for Unsinkable Girls

(From julieschmaucer.com)

Julie Schmaucer

Adrienne Haus liked reading, she really did, just not with other people. And most certainly not when she's signed up for a mother-daughter book club. She has three other literary prisoners to keep her company- Jill, who was pressured into it because she 'needed to socialize', CeeCee, who bashed up her parents car and had her trip to Paris canceled, and Wallis who, for reasons unknown, actually wanted to come.
Of course, it couldn't be a regular book club where you eat fancy crackers and discuss classics. Book clubs can kill.
... Uhhh... Well, I've got to say, I can't explain it that well. I assure you it was a good book. I shall now review it.
I'm going to start in the exact way I do not enjoy starting- I LOVED this book. Correction, I loved the book after I was done. Not in a 'thank Moosamoset it's over' way, but because it took a while to really get into the book. And then it basically strapped you in, and in a gruff voice said, "You know you ain't comin' out again, right?" You, fortunately, have no control as to whether or not the car starts, since it was a rhetorical question. Then you laugh and scream and cry like a maniac.
And that's when the ride starts.
First turn, laugh. This book was awesome. It didn't try to force humor where it wasn't welcome and it didn't go bland. Though there were a couple moments which I think might have possibly probably were supposed to be jokes that didn't quite make sense.
Second turn, and you scream. I'm sorry, but somewhere in this review I have to mention the books weak points. None of them are actually scream-worthy, luckily. Just a couple of pet peeves  of mine that I must now whine on.
Okay, so I already mentioned that it was slow to get into. Yeah. Okay. Won't go farther on that. And you know how great I am at complaining about MCs, but there was only one little thing that irritated me about her, and I'm sure we've all seen this problem before: If she's such a bookworm, why does she only read classics? I get it, they're easily recognizable and their copyrights have probably expired, but still. Can one YA MC read, well, YAs? What kind can't you type up a bad summary of a random idea in the back of your mind and call it a book? You don't even need a title.
And then, per every book that wants to send a message, there is the drinking scene. I shall summarize all of such scenes, this book's included. Girl does not EVER NEVER drink. Girl is offered alcohol. Girl takes alcohol. Girl complains about alcohol, either in dialogue or in thought. Girl commences to drink a whole lot. Drunk scene. Faints. Hangover/consequence scene.
Thank you, thank you. I understand this time the scene was actually kind of important to Adrienne's development (shy, unassuming girl becomes rebellious that's just as unique as everyone else), but there could have been a better substitute. Come on, something. If anyone has any idea on a substitute for this scene, please inform me. It's getting boring.
Third turn, now we go up a hill, cry. You bounce along in your seat, both dreading and getting anxious for the inevitable drop you will face, along with the twists and loops of the following track. This is edging towards the climax, so the emotions are tight.
Very tight.
Very, very tight.
Tight as emo jeans.
I appreciate the change in tone from 'summer read' to 'book I will remember and author I will look up to'. This is when I actually grow attached to the characters, when I finally get a favorite. The emotions are right and are shown instead of told. *applause*
You've reached the peak of the hill, and the moment takes centuries of looking down the hill to drop. Then, in the blink of an eye, the climax is over and you're rushing towards the epilogue.
The ending.
The ending the ending the ending.
I LOVED the ending. Eeeeeeee! Plot twist! Twist twist! DON'T CARE.
Not like I get anything such as, say, a few, a lot of my questions answered, but that's part of the ride. You have to answer some of your questions yourself. It's practically inviting fanfiction and giving it a mint as it comes through the door.
Highly recommend it.

I am so, so sorry

I've been too busy (not too busy for reading, but too busy to read books I feel comfortable reviewing) for any real posting, so I shall cry.

Bawwwwwwwwwwwww.

Well, now that that's over, since I still have not found a book worthy of reviewing (in other words that I could finish without falling asleep during) that was still in my league (in other words not so popular that people might get angry with a review they didn't agree with) I shall give you a list of helpful resources for writing. Because I can.

This lovely blog about nearly everything

This amazing Deviant's guides

This site.

The catalogue of human features (note: it's intended for drawing, but baw, I use it)

This blog for fantasy writers may have stolen my theme, but it's amazing nonetheless

Another blog, this one more general

This Figment group, for when you finally want to get published

Now I'll attempt to either a) get something written, b) learn to stop shipping my own characters (haha I wish), or c) get some actual reviewing done.

Bye bye.

It's Raining Cupcakes

It's Raining Cupcakes

Lisa Schroeder

(Image from her website)

Small town girl Isabel is dying to get out of Willow, Oregon. When her mom opens a cupcake shop called It's Raining Cupcakes, she is inspired to enter a baking contest. The grand prize? A trip to New York for finals and a thousand dollars if you win. The only problem is that Isabel's best friend, Sophie, has entered the contest too, and both of them are determined to win.

Reeeeeeview time!

 So, I'll start out with stating the targeted age. It's for about nine to thirteen year olds. And that isn't in Diamond Willow's way that you can think of the main character as another age and have it seem like it's for you, too. It is very apparent who it is for. 

That doesn't mean I didn't enjoy it, though. It just wasn't 'classic' material. It was still funny and interesting, just not 'deep' or 'educational'.

We start out learning that Isabel's mom wants to open a cupcake shop in the old Bleach-o-Rama, having found a recent love for the art of cupcakes. This was, of course, not rushed at all. And, less sarcastically, not really well planned. Does she always rush headlong into things that are so big? We may never know.

Blablabla, we meet Sophie, a kind of two-dimensional perfect-girl character. She does whatever want and gets whatever she wants. And she introduces Isabel to the baking contest, which Isabel both does and doesn't want to join, since Sophie is joining and Sophie gets everything. Which is now a legitimate reason to give up, which seems kind of odd, since a major subplot is keeping Isabel's mom from giving up when she hears a chain bakery is coming to town.

Isabel's mom encourages Isabel to submit a cupcake recipe, but Isabel thinks that would be too unoriginal. She tries anyways, but doesn't like any of the end results. However, when a new neighbor comes back from England with jam tarts, she's inspired to submit a jam tart recipe without her mother knowing.

 Realizing it may hurt her mother's feelings if she didn't submit a cupcake recipe, though, she throws away the tarts. 

Stuff happens, Sophie steals Isabel's chance for fame in an interview with the family, Isabel laments for a bit, we learn something about the magic of friendship, spoiler, book ends.

Now let's be a bit more straight forward about how I felt.

This book was, no sugar-coating it, okay. Most of the characters were relatively two-dimensional and it wasn't a particularly emotion-inducing book. This may just be because it's for a younger demographic, but it was still somewhat disappointing.

It did, however, keep my interest throughout the story. While it didn't force me to turn the page, I did want to know what happened next and what would happen to our heroine next. 

I'll have to applaud the fact, also, that it wasn't in-your-face about the fact is was a tween book. Instead of some books *dramatic glare into the mist of horrible writing*, it did not act like the very life of all people under twenty was to mall crawl and text. The voice was believable and relatable, and I didn't want to punch the author in the face. Trust me, this is a big step up from how I usually feel about tween books.

The style was kind of beige (but at least it wasn't purple, right?), but it was still a good read for a rainy day. Eh, three stars, maybe add a half star for the ending (and the recipes, but shhhhhh). 

Also, in other related news, the author has another book called Sprinkles and Secrets, which is a sequel.

Just to keep you occupied

Sorry, I'm in the very middle of multiple books and it might be a while before my next review. So here's a picture of my kitten, Harley, with my copy of Wintergirls.

Wintergirls

WINTERGIRLS

LAURIE HALSE ANDERSON

(Picture from http://lovelyreader.blogspot.com/2011/05/wintergirls-review.html)

Trigger warning: Eating disorders

Whoa. An actual review. Crazy.

Anyhow, so Wintergirls is about a girl (Lia), who suffers from anorexia. Her friend, Cassie, recently died, alone in a hotel room, after she called Lia 33 times. Cassie was bulimic and told Lia she was brave, strong, when Lia rapidly lost weight.

So, strange thing about this book. There was no 'getting from point A to point B'. Honestly, the plot was basically just an important snippet of life for Lia. I thought that was interesting.

Onto the actual book.

I want to say I loved this book. I mean, I really wanted to love it. I bet I could have loved it. But reading it was like swimming through corn syrup instead of water.

It was like reading a poem, minus the breaks that make it sound like a real poem. It was thick with metaphors and similes, and while they sometimes improved the mental picture, a lot of the time it made the writing muddled and confusing. It was kind of like purple prose.

The character, however, was relatable (well, as long as you're a teenaged girl, so sorry guys) and well written. I'll begrudgingly accept that some of the things she said (the book is written in the first person), which made it sound more poetic and purple, actually kind of made sense. Made a lot of sense. Whatever.

A couple of things are mentioned at one point and then forgotten for the rest of the book. Lia's little sister, Emma, has two cats, which disappear after one mention. The Cupcake Scene (as it shall be addressed) happens, and then is promptly forgotten, even though you'd think Lia would remember it and that it would be important in her records at New Seasons (a mental recovery place) later. Maybe, 'hey, look, she actually wants to/can eat, she just doesn't'. Something like that is a tad important.

The dialogue was well thought out and believable. People, unlike some stories I've read, actually spoke like people, not Shakespearean characters. So, despite the way that it was written, it's not like normal people spoke like poets.

On the other hand, a lot of parts of this book were confusing. I'm not sure if that's the metaphors and similes talking, but some parts of the book make me wonder if Lia was a psycho, because they just don't make sense. It's like the author would occasionally forget that this was supposedly a contemporary book. Trust me, if you read it, you'll know what I mean.

About halfway through the book, it actually starts sounding like a true narrative, and then it slowly falls back into the poetic, purple style. Just thought that was interesting.

Despite my complaining, this was a good book. The dialogue and emotions were both very believable, and the plot (or whatever it is) was good. So... Yeah. Also, if you like symbolism, you'll probably love this. I don't love symbolism. It's my personal opinion that probably made this book seem worse to me.

A Few Things to Look Out For

So, this is just another complaint. I promise we'll have actual reviews soon. I'm almost done with about three different books. I'll get to it.

This is about the many follies you may, just may, want to avoid while writing.

1.  Every teen smokes and drinks

Listen up, because this is probably why teens are looked at so badly. Not because we all go on big drinking binges and scream at our parents, but because that's what we're advertised to do.

For some reason, YA authors are convinced that every teens drinks and/or smokes pot/crack (do you smoke that?)/cigarettes. Yes, in the real world, some people do that. Heck, I KNOW people who do that. There's a girl in the grade above me that constantly brags about stealing vodka and beer and tequila and (insert any other alcoholic beverage here). She also complains about having headaches all the time and also brings up her puking habits too, interestingly. But not everyone is her.

A lot of books talk about teens drinking very casually. No mention of straight edge people (high five to all my straight edgers out there), people who don't want to, Muslims, Mormons, and kids who don't like the idea of the possibility of a multi-thousand dollar fine over their head.

In some settings, this is kind of understandable (thank you to D.H. Scott on Figment for pointing this out to me). Maybe it's a run down,  crime filled place. Or maybe something traumatic happened and character X uses alcohol or drugs as a getaway. But this is rarely the case in YA.

2. Textbook minorities

This one will continue sarcastically. If I got all my information from YA, this is what I'd "know". Please do not take offense, as this is sarcasm,

~ If a guy is gay, then he is destined to act like a whiny little girl that calls everyone darling, honey, or some variation of that type of thing. He is overly concerned with fashion and hangs out with more girls that guys. He is extremely flamboyant and is horrible at anything athletic. Always.

~ If there's a lesbian, she is butch and macho and sarcastic and arrogant. She is never shown in an actual relationship.

~ If you're Latina or Latino, you are from Mexico. Only Mexico. Central and South America are hoaxes created by the government to keep us in line.

~ If you are African American, you have two choices. As a guy, you are butch and strong, you're probably on the football/basketball team. If you're a girl, you're sassy and probably give a bunch of advice on dating.

~ Native Americans are super wise, have no knowledge of contractions, and have some affinity with nature. Defining what tribe/community they are from is unnecessary. Unnecessary, I tell you!

~ Asians are a rare breed of extremely intelligent superhumans. Their lives revolve around being goody-goodies and getting A+s.

~ West/East Pacific Islanders don't exist. Guam is a lie.

~ Atheists are only ever atheists because something bad happened and they decided the world was too cruel and God couldn't exist, boo hooooo. Evolution, the Big Bang theory, and all other ways it's possible we don't need a god don't exist.

~ Jews are just Christians with Bat Mitzvahs and Bar Mitzvahs and celebrate Hanukkah instead of Christmas, right?

~ Muslims don't exist, silly. And is they do happen to appear, they say 'Allah' instead of 'God', though when speaking English, that is the name He is addressed by.

~ Buddhism and Hinduism are only practiced in Asia. Fiction is an Abrahamic-only club.

Now, before I punch a wall, onto...

3. Example characters

I didn't know what to call these guys, but here's basically how it works: if a character is not perfect/is a minority, they are used purely as a way for the author to say "Look! I'm okay with overweight/pimply/minority/etc. people! I included them in my story as minor, personality-less characters!" Usually has some textbook minorities in there.

Can also lead to a Gaysop's fable, in which we learn 'gays are people too!' in a really unnervingly in-your-face fashion. Because we didn't know that they are. Because all teenagers are homophobes. All of them, even the LGBTQ ones.

Or we can learn that you don't have to be beautiful (like the MC) to be a good person. Actually, you do. Because if you're fat, you're whiny, if you're not athletic, you have no social life. Because...

4. Teens only love each other based on looks

If you don't have dazzling/piercing/sparkling/deep/[poetic adjective] green eyes and smokn' hot abs, you are nothing. NOTHING.

Onto the more serious bit, these kind of romances frustrate me to no end. These are the reasons why I usually complain about romances in YA. Do the authors seriously think that the only reason we need to love is good looks? That the only kind of love is love at first sight? What about personality, friendship based relationships? The way love is portrayed in most YAs is unrealistic and grossly exaggerated.

Or maybe the descriptions are because of...

5. Minor teen dramas are blown up

This really didn't occur to me until a book I read about a month ago (I won't mention the title, since this is what I hate, and no need to be a jerk). I know high school dramas. Mean girls, gossip, romantic troubles, but YA authors don't seem to remember how it was back in the old days. Or maybe Nowhere, USA, just doesn't have enough people for it to be too big. Either way, a lot of small things go huge in YA.

Break ups- When I finally entered the great world of romance (read: my friends did, I watched), I was surprised how easy break ups could be. No screaming, no crying, no ice cream chugging, just the general rule of hush, hush when it came to the ex's name. And even that would be over in a month. Usually, we forget him pretty soon. The name drifts off to meaninglessness.

It's not too bad for guys, either, from what I can tell. From my observations of guys in school and my cousin at one point, it's no angsty, "oh, dear X" fit.

If someone is going to break up, it usually gets obvious. By the time they break up, you've probably steeled yourself because they've been giving you the cold shoulder. Or maybe we're just good at keeping quiet. Maybe we shouldn't listen to me, being a partner-less, never partnered person. You can listen to me about the next one, though.

Rumors- I have had more rumors than I can count swirl around me. It's natural. Usually, they're more laugh-worthy than anything and dissipate pretty quickly. We may not be tiny adults, but we're pretty darn good at sniffing out a lie. We've been raised in a world with not always true information (the Internet, each other), we know when to be skeptical and do some extra poking around. And since rumors are usually lies, they don't usually catch on unless they're really good.

Who loves who- You will not become a social pariah by dating X, X, or X, unless they're someone else's, in which a case you're doomed. Saying you aren't, though, we don't care. It's usually a quick laugh if you don't think it'll work, and then acceptance if it does. Or, if you're a friend or sibling, secretly plotting to get rid of your friend's/sibling's partner because they don't give you enough attention anymore.

New kid- I was a newbie to my school when I was in second grade, so I'm not sure what the feeling would be in my current grade, but I'll make some guesses based on what I've seen.

* Everyone tries to be your friend. They want another friend, and you're a blank slate.

* People are concerned with what you do and wear. First impressions really do count. The new girl that our class got last year was at first accepted and soon rejected because of her tendency to wear skin-tight, skimpy, barely-allowed-by-dress-code clothes. So I imagine clothes would be a major concern as the newbie.

* Usually newbies are sucked in by the eeeeeevviiiil popular crowd. How do they remain in power? They get a lot of people. How do they get new people? They warm up to the new kids.

* We get over your existence within a month. That's right. Even in my hometown of Nowhere, getting a new kid isn't that big. It's nice for the first couple days, but quickly you'll be brought into the flow. In a bigger town? I bet it would take a week.

The Popular Kids- Call them what you like, the Peacock girls (that name makes me laugh), the Populars, the Pops, we had the Sis Crew, they're the in your face popular kids. Except they usually aren't too in your face.

Yeah, they can be jerks. Huge jerks. Want-to-punch-them-in-the-face jerks. But they're actually a lot like bears. As long as you avoid them, they avoid you. (Now I'm thinking of a grizzly bear in hoop earrings and a miniskirt. It's kind of odd.)

No, sorry to burst your bubble, for the most part, they don't insult random people just for fun. If they did, they wouldn't be popular. Maybe they should be called the Rich Kids if they're doing that.

Yeah. Sorry. But I think knowing will make you a better author.

6. Teens think adults are idiots

Riiiiiight. We probably live with an adult or two. It would kind of suck if we thought they were completely ignorant/oblivious.

You see, from what I can tell, I don't know anyone who thinks their parent(s)/guardian(s) is/are complete morons. A bit bad with technology sometimes, yeah, but you'd be surprised how often adults actually understand teen dramas.

Here's some problems that I think really do need to be addressed.

- Listen. Seriously. I understand, we're not "old enough" to understand complex problems such as politics and human rights and... Oh, wait. Some of us are. 

We understand how the world works better than you may think. Otherwise programs like Future Problem Solvers wouldn't exist. But people disregard our opinion purely based on age. It wouldn't matter if we wrote a scholar-level persuasive essay on our views. It wouldn't matter. That's what I love about the Internet. You can talk about your views without being disregarded based on age, as long as you don't say how old you are.

- Needing to say the right thing all. The. Time. At least at my age, everyone is hypercritical about what you say. Say one thing wrong, and, bam, you lose everyone's trust. Without knowing why. Because people think we're old enough to always need to be right, without realizing we're just getting out of random thinking and just starting to figure out what we are and aren't allowed to say.

Be mature, don't bring up mature topics, stay young, don't act so immature, be responsible, we can't trust you.

- Be uniquely conformed. It's always stressed on me, and from what I can tell, my friends, that we need to be individuals. Individuals, to the standards of everyone else. Because the reason you're bullied is because you're so flamboyant. No, you lost your personality. No, stop being so weird. Be yourself, don't conform, conform, hush, hush.

So it's not "you just don't get me" all the time. There is so much more to it.

7. Txt Spk

... Not all of us talk like we're in a chatroom, and I'd prefer you didn't write like that. Because this is how it feels when you want to write your story "like a teen would":

OMG! It's like, whoa, this is a totally STUUPPPIIIIDDD way of writing. LOL! Omg, I can't even tell what it means, which totes sucks. Ugh, I feel stupid just reading this!

... No. No no no. Do NOT patronize me. All the capitalization instead of italicization, the acronyms, it's, OMG! HORRIBLE!

You know what also applies? Seeing a hot guy (*grumble* It's always a guy.) and saying something along the lines of "Time to drool", "drool", "drroooooooolll", or basically saying drool at all. Or saying parents are so stoooopiiiid in your book, as discussed above. It's not relatable, it's weird.

Don't patronize me.

8. All teens are hateful

Kiddies, not all of us are racist. Not all of us are homophobic. Not any more than adults, at least.

My school has two options when it comes to race- white, or Filipino. Did we go crazy when a kid from the Dominican Republic joined us? No. Because we don't care. Our life isn't based on thinking up racist jokes (though I do know a plethora of white jokes).

Okay, my school isn't a great example for anti-homophobia, considering I have classmates who use "gay" as an insult (as a reply, I always say "Ugh, you're so straight." It shuts them up.), but GSAs? Remember those? There are plenty of schools with them because the kids accept and join them.

And while my town also isn't a great example for religious diversity (the only type of building we have more of than churches is houses), not everywhere is like that. Unless you're in a really conservative town, you should be pretty good. Younger grades are more freakishly concerned with who you are because they only know how to parrot what their parent(s) say(s). At around tenth grade, things get better. People think for themselves. People will even change religions. So, not all of us are like that. Get over it.

A dandy little rant I had there. Now, I'll get to reviewing.

~Corinne