Friday, July 12, 2013

The Reviewing Dictionary

Sorry if the text is blocky or the paragraphs are too close to each other. Blogger's been giving me issues lately.

I use big words. Get over it.

Beige [prose] /adj/- Emotionless, boring text that makes me want to beat my head against the wall.
Ex. "Oh no," I said as I ran from the tornado.
Purple [prose] /adj/- Over-descriptive, usually hard to understand text with lots of metaphors and similies that makes me want to beat my head against the wall.
Ex. His golden orbs pierced my heart, the feeling as sharp as wolf teeth.
(Translation: He had piercing yellow eyes.)
Spoiler /noun/- Saying something that will happen later in the book/series that ruins the surprise or emotions.
Ex. Spoiler Alert! Dumbledore dies in the sixth book!
MC /noun/- The main character whom the book follows.
Ex. In the Percy Jackson series, Percy Jackson is the MC.
Dead Pace /noun/- A really slow, hard to keep up with pace where there are long stretches of time between important things happening.
Ex. Despite being a really popular book, 1984, by George Orwell, had a Dead Pace to me.
Mary Sue /noun/- An impossibly (and annoyingly) perfect character that usually messes up the book.
Ex. Ruby Diamond Kawaii-chun was a bit of a Mary Sue.
Can be shortened to 'Sue'. See litmus test at
The Love Interest /noun/- The name of any character the MC is interested in.
Ex. I liked Rich until he became The Love Interest.
Gutpuncher /noun/- A story written entirely for the purpose to mess with your emotions.
Ex. Old Yeller was a Gutpuncher.
Crack fic /noun/-  A story with a plot that makes it sound like the author was on crack (could be good or bad).
Ex. Going Bovine and Far, Far Away. Both are good ones.
Death fic /noun/- 1. A story about death.
2. A story in which many people die.
Ex. The story I just read had so many people die, it was a death fic.
Faaaabulous /adj/- A drawn out 'fabulous'.
Ex. The book I read was faaaabulous.
Can have more or less 'a's. Almost always paired with 'dahling'.
Dahling /noun/- The new name of the reader, author, or anyone I am addressing. Check context.
Ex. Fabulous, dahling.
AghstupidBritishbooks /?/- The book I am reading is from some part of Great Britain, and I, from Mediocre America, keep on getting messed up with the terminology or use of apostrophes instead of quotation marks.
Ex. AghstupidBritishbooks, why do they keep calling the period a full-stop?
YA- Young Adult- For people eighteen or younger
Paranormal- Supernatural- Based on or with creatures from mythology or folk tales. Can include (but is not limited to) angels, demons, ghosts, possessions, werewolves, vampires, chupacabras, yeti, and/or Bigfoot.
Science Fiction- Based in the future, or having aliens or robots as a main plot device.
Dystopian- A subset of Science Fiction. Based in the future with some kind of corrupt government or otherwise messed up world.
Contemporary- Set in the real world with humans, animals, plants, fungi, protists, and any and all type of amoeba as the only living things included in it.
Fantasy- You'll know it when you see it. Usually has dragons somewhere in there.
Romance- Icky lovey-dovey stuff.
Mystery- I think you know.
Historical- Based in the past.

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